Lost Without You
by Melissa Brooks
Summary: Marty is having a hard time letting Todd go after John has told her the truth about her sordid past with him. Will she give Todd another chance? Can she find a way to forgive him and herself for loving him? *This story takes place December of 2008*
1. Chapter 1

Lost Without You

AN: I don't like the way the rapemance story ended. It ended much too soon in my opinion and there was certain angles of the story line that didn't play out. This story starts at Christmas time 2008. TSJ's character is Todd Manning for this story line. Marty still has amnesia.

It was Christmas time and Todd woke up in her bed alone. She was gone now and he knew that he had to get over her, but he didn't know how. How was he supposed to get over losing the one person that he had ever given his heart to?

He lifted the night gown that he had bought her to his nose and inhaled the remaining traces of her perfume. She had left the night gown behind when she had left with John. Her room was filled with so many precious memories and he didn't know if he could get on with his life now that she was back to hating him.

Tea had called him incessantly and she wouldn't leave him alone until he agreed to meet her for lunch. He knew that she was just trying to be a good friend, but he wanted to spend the holiday dreaming about happier times with Marty. Instead he had to get out of bed and shower so that he could meet Tea for lunch.

-

She woke up feeling disoriented and confused. Where was Todd? Why wasn't he next to her? How come her room looked so different? Then she remembered...she was no longer living with Todd. She was staying in some fancy mansion with Nora Buchanon.

Everything that she had shared with Todd was a lie and she hated him for it, but her heart longed for him to hold her and never let go. She hated herself for loving him and told herself that she had to find a way to let him go.

"Hey mom, Merry Christmas," Cole stated as she walked out in the living room.

"Merry Christmas," she replied trying to give him a smile that would convince him that she would be alright.

"We're just opening gifts. Do you want to join us?" Nora asked.

"No, I think that I want to go for a drive to clear my head, but thanks for the offer."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No sweetie you should spend today with Starr."

"Are you sure mom? Are you going to get lost trying to find your way home?" Cole asked. She seemed so broken, lost and uncomfortable around him. He wanted to fix her and give her the memories that would make her whole...but every time he tried to share memories with her she would get frustrated.

"I'll be fine baby...if I get lost I'll call you."

"Bye Nora, Bo...Merry Christmas," Marty said as she left letting them get back to their celebration.

She drove around for a while, but she stopped her car when she realized that she instinctively returned to his house...to the only place that felt like home to her. She knew that she should leave and go back to the Buchanons and reconnect with her family and friends, but she couldn't.

She thought about the Christmas that she would have had with him in New Mexico if John hadn't told her the truth. She felt so lost at the moment...a stranger in her own life. He was the only one that didn't pressure her into remembering who she used to be.

She should have pressed on the gas and gotten out of there before he hurt her again, but instead she had gotten out of her car and let herself in with the spare key under the mat.

The house was quiet and there was no sign of him so she went upstairs to her old bedroom in hopes that she would find something there that would help her find herself again.

She opened the door just as he had come out of the shower. He stood before her in nothing but a towel and her heartbeat intensified and breathing quickened. He was so sexy in that towel and God help her, she still wanted him.


	2. Chapter 2

Lost Without You 2

Todd blinked his eyes a couple of times trying to register if what he was seeing was real. "You're not real. I'm dreaming again," Todd stated. That was the only explanation that made sense. Marty wouldn't be here after all the pain that he caused her so he was certain that once he woke up she would dissapear but he didn't wake up...she was still there sitting on her bed staring at him.

"I'm not a dream...I'm real."

"You can't be here. You hate me...if you're real then you must be here to kill me."

"I didn't kill you the last time that we were in this room together and I'm not going to kill you now."

Todd looked down at his state of undress and the look of uncomfortability etched on her face. "I'm going to go change...will you be here when I get back?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Marty stated. She didn't know if she could leave this house now even if she wanted to.

Todd walked out of the room hoping that she would still be there when he returned.

After Todd had changed his clothes he ran back to her room and was relieved to see that she was still sitting on the bed where he had left her. "You're still here."

"Yeah...I'm still here."

"What are you doing here?"

"I don't know...I just got in my car so that I could go for a drive to clear my head and this is where I came."

"Well, I'm glad that you're here. I wanted to tell you that I was sorry about how Tea treated you in the courtroom."

"She was just doing her job and you had a right to an attourney," Marty stated coldly. She didn't want to discuss how painful it was to relive the time that she fell in love with him in front of the courtroom.

"Yeah, well I'm still sorry that you had to talk about what happened with us."

"I loved you so much, but it was all a lie."

"It wasn't. I lied to you about a lot of things but our feelings were real. We loved each other and we were going to be so happy," Todd said as he cautiously sat by her side.

"You don't love me...you just used me for revenge against John and against Cole. You kept me away from my friends..."

"I know I'm sorry."

"You kept me away from Cole and you lied to me about who I was," Marty said as she stood up and walked away from him.

"I'm sorry, I know that I hurt you, but you're wrong. I love you so much and what we shared was real. I want you to be happy... you shouldn't be here with me reliving all the pain I put you through. You should be at home celebrating Christmas with your son."

"I know, but I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because what we had was real," Marty stated as she turned around to face him.

"What are you trying to say? Are you trying to tell me that you still have feelings for me."

"I don't know how I feel about you...all I know is that I'm lost without you and I hate that this place still seems like my home."

"It can still be your home."

"I can't live here with you when I don't trust you."

"I know that I hurt you, but will you at least give me one night to prove to you that we can make it work. I am still the same man that you fell in love with, please just give me a chance to prove it." Todd pleaded.

Marty thought about everything she had shared with Todd. Could they make it work or would the past continue to haunt them both? Could she forgive Todd? Marty didn't know the answer to any of those questions that had plagued her.. all she knew was that she had to try to find herself. "I shouldn't do this...but I'll give you New Years Eve. I got to go, bye Todd," Marty stated as she left his room.


	3. Chapter 3

Lost Without You 3

_The shutters banged in the wind and the sound of the rain filtered through the room. Marty was trying to get some sleep...she had too much to drink and she didn't feel good._

She opened her eyes when they came into the room. They were still drinking and laughing and all she wanted to do was rest. They wouldn't let her leave...she was trapped and he was angry.

He had called her a whore and held her hands down while he penetrated into her most private of regions. She felt scared, humiliated and ashamed and most of all she wanted to crawl into a dark hole and die. The sounds of thier laughter mixed with the wind howling outside.

Then they were gone and she was at a tabernacle. She was looking for somebody...she was looking for somebody named Rebecca. The door was unlocked and she opened it to find him...the man who scared her most.

He grabbed her by the wrist and flung her to the ground. He teased and taunted her and told her that she belonged to him. He told her that when he was through with her there would be nothing left.

He climbed on top of her as she fought in vain to get away from him. He bit her wrists in a playful matter like it was all a joke to him. He lifted her hands up over her head just like before and she was terrified that he would rape her all over again.

There was a knock on the door and...the sound of screaming

Marty opened her eyes and realized that she was the one who was screaming. She must have fallen asleep. She told herself that they were just nightmares and that she was safe...but deep down inside she knew that they were memories.

She felt sick as she thought about all the pain that he had put her through. She ran to the bathroom and threw up. The unwanted memories had taken it's toll on her and she had been sick for days now.

She looked at the clock and realized that she would be meeting him in an hour. She pulled herself off the bathroom floor and tried to pull herself together, but her hands were shaking and her stomach was in knots and she didn't know if she was about to make the biggest mistake of her life.

-

Tea knocked on Todd's door. He had stood her up on Christmas and she was determined not to let him wallow in his own misery over New Years.

"Tea, what are you doing here?"

She was shocked to see him already in a tux ready to go out. "I didn't want you to be alone for New Years. I thought that we could be each other's company," Tea stated.

"Sorry Tea, I've already got plans. You don't mind if I take this with me?" Todd asked as he grabbed the bottle of Chamapagne out of her hands. "This might come in handy."

"You have plans? With who? With Blair?"

"Hell no, I have no interest in Blair. There's only one woman that I've ever loved and it certainly isn't Blair."

"Oh my god, it's Marty isn't it?"

"Yeah, she's agreed to give me another chance."

"You're making a mistake Todd. I saw her face in court and she was nowhere near forgiving. This has to be some kind of trap."

"It's not a trap Tea."

"How can you be so sure? Maybe I should come with you."

"We don't need a Chaperone. I got to go...I don't want to keep her waiting. Go ahead and lock up for me," Todd said as he walked away.

"You're making a mistake Todd," Tea called after him but he was already gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Lost Without You 4

Marty headed over to the Palace Hotel and knocked on the door of the hotel room that Todd had booked. She was nervous and scared, but she couldn't back out now. She had already made up her mind...it was the only way that she would ever be free.

"Marty, you look incredible," Todd said as he looked her up and down.

"You look great too," Marty stated. She had never seen him in a tux before and he looked good...he looked so dam good and it took every ounce of self preservation that she had in her not to run into his arms. "Can I come in?" she asked.

"Of course," Todd stated as he held the door open for her.

"Marty, do you want a glass of Champagne?" Todd asked as she sat down on the couch.

"Sure," she stated.

Todd poured her a glass and handed it to her. "Here's to new beginnings," he stated as he clinked her glass.

She sipped at the champagne in her glass as he sat by her side.

She stood up and walked away from him. The images of her nightmarish memories flashed through her mind and she was terrified that he was still the same bastard that raped her. She couldn't go through that again. It was bad enough now that she loved him...the knowledge that she was his girl in every way that counted wasn't something that she could live with.

She would hear him out, but she couldn't let him deter her from her plans. She had thought long and hard about this decision and it was the only way to ensure that he would never hurt her again.

"Marty, I want you to know that I've thought about you every day...even when I thought that you were dead. Thinking of you helped me control my worst impulses and I am trying to be a better person. I know that I hurt you...I've hurt so many people, but I regret what I did to you most of all but I'm here and I'll do anything to make it up to you," Todd stated as he stood up and walked over to her.

"Do you want to know how you can make it up to me?"

"How?"

"I want you to help me remember everything. I want you to make me afraid of you so that I stop loving you."

"You still love me?"

"I hate what you did to me...I hate that you lied to me about who I am and most of all I hate that you made me fall in love with you when their isn't a chance in hell that we could ever be together."

"We can be together. I know we can...we'll just do what worked before. We proved that it worked...we'll just pretend that the past didn't happen."

"You want me to pretend that you didn't rape me?"

"It worked before."

"You were lying to me before."

"But I'm not lying now. I know that it won't be easy to forget all the pain that I put you through especially with this glaring reminder."

Marty reached up and traced his new scar that John had given him the night she found out about all the lies. She wished that she could forget everything, but she couldn't. She loved Todd, but she couldn't forget their past. She was trapped...she couldn't have a life without him not when she couldn't trust herself to stay away from him and she didn't trust him not to hurt her again. Her hatred for him made it impossible for her to forgive him and her love for him made it impossible for her to leave him.

"Please Marty, I know that we can make this work," Todd pleaded with her as he brushed the hair out of her face.

"I can't...I can't do this," she stated as she ran out of the room.

He followed her to the roof and panicked when he saw her on the ledge.


	5. Chapter 5

Lost Without You 5

Todd felt trapped inside his worst nightmare. He knew that if he moved towards her she would jump...he could see the desperation in her eyes. His only hope was to talk her down from the ledge. "Marty, what are you doing?" Todd asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing? It's the only way that I'll ever be free of you."

"You don't have to jump Marty. I'll stay away from you."

"Even if you managed to stay away from me, I know that I won't stay away from you. You're like a bad addiction for me and even though I know you're bad I can't seem to stay away."

"I don't have to be bad...you've changed me and all I wanted was a chance to prove to you that I've changed. Why did you come here tonight? Wer'e you planning this all along?"

"No, but this afternoon after I had nightmares of you raping me I knew what I had to do. Do you remember the night that you tried to rape me again at the Tabernacle of Joy? I don't remember all of it, but I do remember something that you said to me. You told me that you would always be under my skin and that I would never be free of you and that I would belong to you forever. Do you remember saying that?"

"Marty, I..."

"It's okay, I know that you remember it. You were right...I've become your girl. We have a connection that I can't seem to break, but tonight when you watch me die then that connection will be broken."

"I don't want to watch you die."

"Oh come on Todd, we both know how much you get off on my pain. This should be your greatest night ever. I remember you laughing the night of the Spring Fling, like it was all a joke. What's the matter Todd? Is my pain no longer funny to you?"

"Please don't do this Marty, I can't live without you...I don't want to live without you."

"I'm sorry Todd, but it's the only way that I can make sure that you don't hurt me again," Marty stated as she jumped off the ledge.

"MARTY!" Todd screamed with anguish as he watched her jump.

She couldn't be gone...there had to be a way to save her. He ran down the stairs when he ran into John Mcbain at the entrance of the hotel.

"Where's Marty? What have you done with her? I know that she was meeting you tonight, so where is she?" John asked as he stepped in front of Todd blocking the exit.

"Get out of my way."

"Tell me where she is first."

Todd didn't have time for John's shit, he had to get to Marty. He punched John with as much force as he could and stepped past his unconscious body.

He ran to the pier, past Tea and Blair and jumped in the icy cold water. He managed to find Marty and he dragged her back up to the surface.

Tea and Blair helped pull Marty out of the water. Todd climbed out of the water and went over to her. She was so cold, her complexion was so pale, and worst of all she wasn't breathing.


	6. Chapter 6

Lost Without You 6

Tea called for an ambulance while Todd placed his mouth over Marty's and gave her his oxygen. He watched her chest rise and fall with every breath that he took but she wouldn't breathe on her own.

He couldn't lose her...not now...not after everything that they had been through. "Come on Marty, breathe for me," he coaxed as he gave her chest compressions.

She spit up the water and was breathing on her own, but she was still unconscious when the paramedics showed up. They placed her on a stretcher and he was just about ready to board the ambulance when John came up and grabbed his arms.

"You're under arrest for assaulting a police officer," John stated as he placed the cuffs around his back.

"Please, don't do this John...I have to go to the hospital with Marty. She's hurt."

"Yeah, I've got questions about Marty...how did she get hurt? Did you push her off the roof?"

"Don't say a word," Tea advised.

"No, she...jumped," Todd whispered.

"Very convenient story," John stated."Come on Todd, let's go down to the station," he stated.

-

Marty opened her eyes. She couldn't believe her luck...she was still alive. Her lungs felt like they were on fire and she had a splitting headache.

She looked around but there wasn't any sign of Todd and she was surprised with the intensity of her dissapointment. Why wasn't he here with her?

"Marty, we got the test results of your blood work and there's something that I need to talk with you about," Doctor Kyle Lewis stated as he came into her hospital room.

"What's going on?" Marty asked

"You're pregnant."


	7. Chapter 7

Lost Without You 7

"You're pregnant," Dr. Kyle Lewis explained.

Marty stared at him as she tried to digest the news. It couldn't be true...she couldn't be having his baby. "Pregnant? I don't understand...I can't be. I took the morning after pill. Are you sure that I'm pregnant?"

"I'm positive...the Morning After Pill isn't full proof. Nothing is in this life."

" I would like to keep you overnight for observation but you should make a full recovery. I'll let you digest the news and tomorrow we can discuss your options more clearly," Doctor Kyle Lewis stated and then he left.

"Mom, are you okay?" Cole asked as he walked in holding Starr's hand. "What happened?"

"That's what I would like to know?" John asked as he came into the room. "I know that you met Manning tonight? Did he push you off the Palace Hotel?"

"No... I jumped," Marty stated.

"Are you sure that Manning didn't push you? You're not just covering for him?"

"I'm positive John. I wouldn't cover for Todd, but I'm not going to let him get into trouble for something that he didn't do. I jumped off the roof," Marty stated.

"Why would you try and kill yourself mom? "

"I thought it was the only way that I would be free of Todd, but it was useless. We'll always be connected by the baby no matter what I do," Marty stated in shock.

"You're pregnant with Todd's baby?" Cole asked.

"Yeah."

"What are you going to do? Are you going to keep it?" Cole asked.

"I don't know...I can't take care of a baby when I can't even take care of myself. I just need some time to think. I need to find myself again so I'm going to admit myself to Saint Ann's in the morning."

"I think that's for the best. I don't want you to try and hurt yourself again...I love you mom, I just want you to get better." Cole stated.

"I'm going to work really hard at remembering you."

"Take care Doctor Saybrooke. I'm sorry that my dad hurt you and I hope that you feel better soon," Starr stated as she grabbed Cole's hand and walked away.

"I've got to go too," John stated as he walked away. "Do you want me to give you a ride to ST. Ann's in the morning?"

"That would be great."

"Take care Marty."

XOXOXO

The next morning John helped Marty admit herself for psychiatric care. It wasn't fair that Marty was so broken and Todd had gotten away with hurting her all over again. John thought of all the ways that he could hurt Todd after all the ways that he had hurt Marty. He smiled as he came up with a brilliant idea for payback.

John called Cole to see if he would assist him with getting revenge against Todd.

XOXOXO

Todd hadn't slept at all...he was so worried about Marty. She had to be okay. He wanted to call the hospital and check on her status but the guards hadn't given him his one phone call yet.

"John, how's Marty?" Todd desparately asked.

"She's dead Manning. Her heart stopped on the way to the hospital and the EMT's couldn't save her."

"You're lying...she's not deaad," Todd said as his voice broke.

"I wish that I was lying, but you killed her and I'm going to make sure that you pay for that."

"You're not lying?"

"I'm not lying. You can call Cole if you don't believe me and he'll confirm that what I'm saying is the truth."

Todd sunk to the floor. He was devastated. He had lost his heart when Marty died and he didn't know if he would ever recover.

"Can I see her? I just...there's just so much that I have to say to her."

"That won't be possible. Cole had her cremated this morning and he's on his way to Ireland to spread her ashes as we speak," John stated. "I'll send a guard in with a phone in a minute or two."

Todd nodded his head, but he didn't see the point. He couldn't call Marty and she was the only one that he wanted to talk to. He didn't even get to say goodbye.


	8. Chapter 8

Lost Without You 8

Marty sat in the lounge cuddled up on the couch. She debated whether she had made a mistake. Did she belong here? Would they be able to get Todd out of her system?

One of the other patients came and sat by her side. "The first day is always the hardest, but it will get easier," he stated.

"How long have you been here for?"

"A month. My name's Wes Granger?" he said as he extended his hand to her.

"Marty Saybrooke," she said as she shook his hand.

"You seem pretty normal...a little sad, but normal. Why are you here?" Wes asked.

"I tried to kill myself. You seem normal as well. Why are you here?"

"I've had a hard time adjusting to my life after I got back from Iraq. My doctors say that I have PTSD."

"Why did you try and kill yourself?"

"I have amnesia...I can't remember who I was. I feel like I'm letting my friends and family down and the one person that I feel connected to hurt me. I guess, I tried to kill myself because I wanted an out for my life."

"I know what that's like. I've served three tours in Iraq. Every time I came home I felt all this pressure from my friends and family. They expected me to be the same person that I was before the war, but I can't go back to that person and I felt like I was a constant disappointment.

There was something about Wes that spoke to Marty. He was the first person that she could feel a connection to besidesTodd. She talked to him for hours...he told her about his stories of being at war while she told him about Todd.

They continued to talk until a nun came by and told Marty that the doctor wanted to see her.

She walked into the Psyciatrist's Office and he seemed shocked to see her.

"Marty Saybrooke?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, do we know one another?" Marty asked.

"Yeah we knew one another. My name is Doctor Ray Martinez."

XOXOXO

Once the guards had brought Todd the phone he called Tea and told her that he needed a lawyer. Afterwards he called Cole. He needed to be certain that Marty was dead. Cole had confirmed John's story. She was dead and he would never see her again.

XOXOXO

Tea drove Todd home after he was released on bail. "Do you want me to keep you company?" she asked.

"No...I just want to be left alone," he stated as he slammed the door in her face.

He headed up to the bathroom and when he looked in the mirror he saw his old self staring back at him.

"You know what you need to do. You're the reason that Marty's dead and you need to pay," the face in the mirror stated.

Todd pulled out the pocket knife that he kept in the bathroom drawer and sliced his wrists. Life wasn't worth living without Marty.


	9. Chapter 9

Lost Without You 9

Todd woke up and realized that his hands were restrained and he was in the hospital. "What happened?" Todd asked when he noticed that Tea was sitting in the chair beside him.

"You tried to kill yourself...you stupid bastard," Tea stated.

"I know that. Why didn't it work? Who saved me?"

"I did...I knew that something was wrong so I went back and checked on you. I found you lying on the floor bleeding. I called for an ambulance and applied pressure to your wonds. I saved your life...you could at least pretend to be grateful."

"Why would I be grateful? You shouldn't have done that...you should have just let me die. I don't deserve to live after what I did to Marty."

"Marty...is that all you care about? Don't you care about your children? Don't you care about Blair or about me? Don't you care about Vicki. We all love you and would be devastated if you took your own life."

"You're better off without me. I poison everything I touch."

"I'm not going to let you kill yourself. You need help and I hope that you get it at ST. Ann's."

"ST. Ann's? I'm not going to ST. Ann's so some head shrinker can get inside my head."

"You don't have a choice. I had you committed. I already filled out the necessary paperwork and you should be transferred this afternoon."

"You can't have me committed?"

"I can do whatever I want. I still have your power of Attourney and you're going to get help whether you want it or not," Tea stated as she left the room.

XOXOXO

"I'm Doctor Ray Martinez," the man stated as he held his hand out to Marty.

"I'm sorry...I don't remember you. How do we know one another?"

"I was Todd's appointed therapist while he was in prison."

"Of course you were...I swear to god, I'm never going to be free of that man."

"If you would be more comfortable I can assign another Doctor to your case."

"No, that's okay. It might help to talk to somebody who knows Todd," Marty stated as she sat down.

"Does Todd know that you're pregnant?" Ray asked.

"How did you know?" Marty asked as she placed her hand over her stomach.

"I have your medical charts. Does Todd know yet?"

"No...I haven't really had a chance to tell him."

"Are you planning on telling him?"

"I honestly don't know. I...I'm not sure that I can have his child after everything. It would just be one more thing to connect us. Please don't tell him until I know what I want to do."

"I understand...the choice to tell Todd is yours. I can't say anything...I am bound by patient/Doctor confidentiality, but I want you to think about telling Todd. He kept your child from you...he lied to you for months on end. Do you really want to keep his child from him?"

Marty looked at the floor. Doctor Ray Martinez was right. She hated it when she found out that Todd had lied to her about her son. Could she really do the same thing to Todd? "You're right...he needs to know. I'll write him a letter and ask him to come and see me."

"I think that's a good decision. I have another patient that I have to meet with, but I'll check on you later today," Ray stated.

XOXOXO

Todd sighed as the guards escorted him into ST. Ann's. He didn't want to be here...he wanted to be with Marty. He wanted to escape, but he couldn't they had already given him a sedative and he found it difficult to move.

They pushed his wheelchair into a room and he saw her walking towards him...but how could it be her when she was dead. "Marty?" he whispered.


	10. Chapter 10

Lost Without You 10

"Marty?" Todd whispered as he saw her walking towards him.

"Todd? What are you doing here?" Marty asked as she walked up to him.

"You can't be real? You're dead," Todd stated.

"I'm not dead. Who told you that I died?"

Todd slowly stood up and pulled Marty into his arms. "I thought that you died when you jumped off that roof. John and Cole told me that you died...but you're here. You're still alive," Todd said as he cried.

"Why are you here?" Marty asked as she pulled out of his arms then she saw the bandages around his wrists. "What did you do Todd?"

"I refuse to live in a world without you Marty. When I thought that you were dead I sliced my wrists."

"I can't believe that you would do that Todd. I don't want to be the reason that you hurt yourself."

"And I don't want to be the reason that you hurt yourself either," Todd stated. "I was so scared when you jumped off that roof."

"Todd, there's something that I have to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I'm pregnant."

"How can that be? I thought that you took the morning after pill."

"I did, but it didn't work. I ended up pregnant with your child anyways."

"I love you so much Marty. Fate has found a a way to bring you back to me so that you, me and this baby can be a family," Todd stated as he pulled Marty into a kiss.

She kissed him back for a minute, but then pulled away. She couldn't let herself give into her feelings for Todd. She needed to break away from him before he hurt her all over again. She slapped him across the face. " This doesn't change anything...this isn't fate...this is a god damn nightmare. I don't want anything to do with you."

"If that was true, then you wouldn't have kissed me back."

"Marty? Are you okay?" Wes asked as he walked up to them.

"I'm fine. Wes, I would like you to meet the man who raped me. This is my curse Todd Manning," Marty stated as Todd cringed at her choice of words. "Todd this is my new friend Wes," Marty said as she pulled him into a kiss.

Todd could feel the rage and jealousy building inside of him one moment and the next thing he knew he pushed Wes away from Marty and then punched him.

"Leave Marty alone. She's mine!" Todd screamed as the orderlies dragged him away from Wes. They injected him with another sedative and he sunk to the floor.


	11. Chapter 11

Lost Without You 11

"Hey Marty, we need to talk," Wes stated as he entered her room.

"What do you want to talk about?" Marty asked as she shut her door.

"I want to talk to you about the kiss. I need to know if you really have feelings for me or if you were just trying to prove a point to Todd," Wes said as he sat down on the bed next to Marty.

"Truthfully, I don't know. When I kissed you I just wanted to prove to Todd that he doesn't own me. I'm sorry...I shouldn't have used you to hurt him and I'm really sorry that he punched you," Marty stated as she traced the bruise that was forming on his left cheek.  
"When I kissed you...it was nice and I felt a connection that I haven't felt for anybody since...well, since Todd. I like you Wes, but I'm screwed up and I'm not sure that I'm ready to be in another relationship especially when I still love Todd."

"I like you too Marty, and we're both screwed up...otherwise we wouldn't be here. Thank you for being honest with me about your feelings for Todd, but for the record, I'm willing to fight for you because I think that we could have something amazing," Wes stated as he pulled Marty into a kiss.

XOXOXO

Todd opened up his eyes and realized that he was in a stray jacket. He sat up and looked into the eyes of a man who had once helped him face and fight his demons.

"Ray? Ray Martinez?"

"Todd, we need to talk," Ray stated.

"Marty, where's Marty?" Todd asked.

"She's in her room. We need to talk about Marty and your unhealthy obsession with her."

"It's not an obsession. I fell in love with her."

"You lied to her about who she was and who you were for six months. That doesn't sound like love to me Todd."

"You don't know anything about how I feel. You don't know anything about Marty or our relationship."

"So why don't you explain it to me?"

"She saw something good and decent in me and because she did I was free to love her the way that I always wanted to. It was as if all the bad things that I did to her was just gone. She has amnesia so she doesn't remember all the pain that I put her through and she no longer looks at me with fear and hesitation. Don't you see Ray? I need Marty's love and her forgiveness...otherwise my life has no meaning."

"What about Marty? What about what she needs? Do you want Marty to be happy?"

"Of course I do."

"Even if it's not with you?"

"It has to be with me. I'm lost without her and I know that she's lost without me. I can make her happy. I can make her love me. We can be together."

"Are you listening to yourself? You can't make Marty love you. You can't force her to be with you if that's not what she wants...and as much as you want it Todd...you can't force Marty to forgive you. If you really love her like I think you do then you will stop trying to force your will onto her. Set her free Todd...you owe her that much and if you're really meant to be then she'll come back to you of her own free will."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"I do, because I know that you're not the same arrogant college kid who raped her. Here's your chance to prove to Marty that you can honer her wishes and give her what she needs. Just think about what I said. I'll talk to you tomorrow," Ray said as he left Todd to his thoughts.

XOXOXO

John entered Todd's property because there had been complaints from his neighbors about a bad smell.

As soon as John stepped out of his car...he recognized the putrid smell as death. He searched the house from top to bottom and it wasn't until he entered the basement that he found the source of the smell...a woman had apparently been stabbed and left in Todd's basement.

John walked over to the decomposing body and recognized the victim as Janet Ketring or Lee Halprin. She was the nurse that had helped Todd hold Marty hostage and she knew all about the plans to kidnap Starr's baby. John knew that Todd had one hell of a motive to want her out of his way and he was determined to make sure that Todd was convicted.


	12. Chapter 12

Lost Without You 12

Marty liked the way Wes's mouth felt on hers. She kissed him back and let his toungue enter her mouth. The kiss had ignited a fire that could only be extinguished by his touch. "I want you," Marty stated as she broke apart from the kiss.

"I want you too," Wes stated as he helped Marty pull off her shirt. She pulled off her pants while he took his shirt and pants off as well.

She laid down on his bed.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as he grazed her stomach.

His touches felt so nice and she wanted to have sex with him so badly so that she could erase the images of making love to Todd out of her head, but she couldn't.

She froze as he climbed on top of her pressing his erection closer to her center. She was bombarded with memories of Todd's touch that she couldn't shake. "I can't...I'm sorry. I'm not ready for this," Marty stated as she began to cry.

"It's okay...I can wait because your worth waiting for," Wes stated as he sat up and kissed her forehead.

"Margaret, why is this door locked?" Sister Agatha called as she banged on her door.

"Hide under the bed. She can't catch you in here," Marty whispered.

Wes grabbed his clothes and slid under the bed while Marty opened the door.

"I'm sorry sister...I was sleeping and I didn't know that I locked the door."

"Why are you naked?"

"I like to sleep in the nude."

"Are you sure you weren't entertaining a boy?"

"I'm positive."

"We have rules against sexual activity with the opposite sex and I'll be keeping my eye on you. I would also like it if you slept in pajamas like a proper lady while you are here."

"Yes sister."

"And for future reference Margaret, there are video cameras in all of the rooms. You may come out Wesley. Get dressed Doctor Ray Martinez is looking for you."

"Sorry sister. I'll be out in a minute," Marty stated.

"Sorry sister," Wes stated as he slid himself out from underneath the bed. "

"Don't let it happen again. You are here to recover not to fulfill your unhealthy sexual desires."

"Yes sister," Marty and Wes said at the same time.

Marty finished putting her clothes on and then she followed sister Agatha out of the room.

XOXOXO

"Come in," Doctor Ray Martinez called when he heard the knock on his office door.

"I was told that...what is he doing here?" Marty asked when she saw Todd sitting in one of the chairs.

"Their is something that I need to tell the both of you. Please sit down Marty."

"What is this about," Marty sat down in the chair next to Todd.

"First of all, I wanted to let you both know that I have decided to combine your therapy sessions together into group therapy sessions between you, me and Todd."

"You can't be serious. I want him out of my life," Marty stated.

"You are here Marty because you chose to end your own life rather then deal with your feelings forTodd. You will never get better until you stop hiding from your feelings and confront them head on. I feel that both of you will benefit from group therapy."

"Okay," Marty whispered.

"Secondly I called you both here because Zach Rosen was released from jail a little more than a month ago. He stopped reporting into his parole officer and the police suspect that he may try and contact you."

"Why? What aren't you saying?" Todd asked.

"His room at the boarding house was covered in pictures of Marty and yourself and the police are certain that he will try and contact you."

"Zach Rosen is out of jail?" Marty asked as she shuddered.

"Don't worry Marty, I won't let that bastard anywhere near you, " Todd said as he placed his hand over Marty's.

"Don't touch me...this is all your fault...you brought that psycho into my life and now he's obsessed with me. He's obsessed with both of us," Marty said as she stood up to leave.

She opened up the door to find John standing there.

"Hello Marty, you look good."

"John? What are you doing here?"

"I came to see Manning. Todd, we just found Lee Halprin AKA Janet Ketring's body in your basement and we have a couple of questions for you."

"Oh my god, you killed Janet?" Marty asked as she turned around to look into Todd's eyes.

"Marty...I"

"Save your excuses...I don't want to hear it," Marty stated as she ran out of the room.

"If you want to talk to me then I suggest you contact my lawyer," Todd stated as he ran out the room after Marty.


	13. Chapter 13

Lost Without You 13

"Marty...wait up I need to talk to you," Todd stated as he ran after Marty. He grabbed her wrist and spun her around to face him.

"Just leave me alone Todd."

"I swear to you that I didn't kill Janet."

"Then why was her body found in your basement?"

"I don't know...somebody must be trying to set me up. Please tell me that you believe me," Todd pleaded.

"Let me go or I'll scream and they'll put you back in the padded room."

"I'm going to prove to you that I'm innocent if it's the last thing I do," Todd stated as he released his hold on Marty's wrist.

He watched as Marty walked up to Wes and wrapped her arms around him. He hated Wes so much...it killed him to watch her turn to him for comfort.

XOXOXO

"What was that for?" Wes asked.

"I've had a rotten night and I just really needed a hug," Marty stated as she began to cry.

"What's wrong?" Wes asked as he wiped her tears away.

"It's Todd...I think that he might have killed somebody."

"It's okay...I'm going to keep you safe from Todd," Wes stated as he kissed her.

"Margaret...this is the second strike." Sister Agatha yelled as she blew the RAPE whistle that hung around her neck. She walked over to them and tapped her foot impatiently. "If I catch Wes or you invading each other's personal space again than I will make sure that you are kept apart for the remainder of your stay here. Is that understood?"

"Yes sister Agatha," Wes and Marty said as they moved to opposite ends of the couch.

Todd couldn't help but laugh...he was really beginning to like sister Agatha.

XOXOXO

Zach finished taping the picture of Marty on his ceiling. This way she would be the first and last thing that he saw everyday. He took his pocketknife out of his pants and jammed it into one of his photos of Todd and laid down on the bed.

Marty was so beautiful and Zach couldn't help but get an erection as he stared at her picture. He unzipped his pants and began to fondle himself as he remembered the glorious moments of fucking Marty during the Spring Fling. "Oh Marty," he whispered as he released his cum into his hands. "We'll be together soon."

XOXOXO

John couldn't get hold of Tea Delgado so he headed back to his office. When he got there he saw Natalie standing outside his door.

"What did forensics dig up?" John asked as he opened his office door.

"Lee was stabbed seventeen times and I found the letter K carved into her ear."

"The letter K, huh...Hmmmm...what do you think that means?"

"I don't know. Here is the full report," Natalie stated as she handed John the stack of evidence that her team had managed to gather.

"Good work Natalie," John stated as he walked into his office and shut the door behind him.


	14. Chapter 14

Lost Without You 14

Marty couldn't sleep. She had been tossing and turning all night, but she couldn't get thoughts of Janet and group therapy with Todd out of her mind.

She looked at the clock...six a.m. when she heard a knock on her door.

"Come in," Marty stated as she rubbed her eyes and stretched.

"Doctor Ray Martinez wants to see you at his office in a half hour," Sister Agatha stated and then she left the room.

Marty got dressed and brushed her teeth and then left her room.

"Good morning Marty. How are you feeling today?"Todd asked as soon as she walked into the room.

"Fine," Marty stated as she avoided Todd's penetrating gaze.

"Thank you for coming Marty. Todd...I believe that there was something that you wanted to ask her," Ray prompted as he smiled encouragingly towards Todd.

"Marty...I wanted to know if you were planning on raising our child?" Todd stated as he looked into her eyes.

"I don't know...part of me wants to keep this child, but part of me thinks that it would be in everyone 's best interest if I had an abortion."

"Please...don't kill our child because you're angry with me. It's an innocent child and it shouldn't be punished for my sins."

"I know that Todd, but if I bring this child into the world...what kind of life is it going to have with parents as fucked up as us? How are we going to explain to them that they were created the night that you raped me?"

"That night...I didn't rape you. I could never hurt you like that again. Our child was created out of an act of love...not rape," Todd stated as he stepped closer to Marty.

"You and I view the events of that night very differently. If you really loved me then you would have told me the truth about our past, but you lied to me because you knew that I would never let you touch me if I knew who you were. You know what...I can't talk about this with him anymore," Marty said as she ran out of the room.

XOXOXO

Marty didn't want to be alone...she needed Wes. She knocked on his bedroom door, but nobody answered. She opened the door and walked over to his bed.

It sounded like Wes was having nightmares about being in the war. He cried out in his sleep and his voice was filled with such anguish and despair.

Marty tried to wake him, but in a moment of confusion Wes wrapped his hands around her neck and began to squeeze. He had to kill the enemy...it was the only way that he could survive.


	15. Chapter 15

Lost Without You 15

"Todd, let her go," Ray stated as Todd started to go after Marty. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah?"

"When you found Marty alive why didn't you take her to a hospital?"

"Because I wanted to be the one to take care of Marty and I knew that if I took her to the hospital I would lose her. Cole and John would poison her against me and I would lose my chance of making amends.. I never meant to hurt her...I just wanted the chance to love her. Do you think that she's ever going to forgive me?" Todd asked.

"I don't know. Have you forgiven yourself?"

"I can't...I won't."

"How can you expect Marty to forgive you when you can't forgive yourself?

"I guess I shouldn't, but I need her forgiveness."

"I want you to try and forgive yourself and I think that in order to do that you need to stop focusing on your bad qualities...so I want you to write a letter to yourself where you mention your positive traits and list the reasons you think that Marty should forgive you."

"Okay, I'll work on it. " Todd stated as he headed out the door.

XOXOXO

Marty panicked as it became harder to breathe. She tried to shout for help or call Wes's name but the pressure around her neck was so tight that she could barely breathe let alone speak.

She lowered to the ground as the world around her began to grow dark when suddenly she heard Doctor Levin's voice shouting at Wes to let her go.

Doctor Levin's voice must have pulled Wes out of his nightmare because he let Marty go.

"I'm so sorry Marty," Wes stated as he sunk to the floor and placed his head in his hands and began to cry.

"Sister Agatha will you take Marty out of here and make sure that the nurses check her oxygen levels," Doctor Levin stated.

"Doctor Levin, I think that Marty has a sex addiction. She's always getting in all sorts of problems with the boys. I think that it would be best if I placed her in solitary confinement where her sexual instincts don't cause her or anybody else harm."

"Sister Agatha, will you please just do as I ask and leave Marty's diagnosis to her Doctors," Doctor Levin stated as he shook his head.

XOXOXO

After the nurses checked her breathing and determined that she didn't need to be hospitalized, Marty headed to her room to lie down. She could feel a terrible migraine setting in and all she wanted to do was sleep the morning away.

When she got to her room she saw Todd sitting on her bed.

"We need to...Marty what happened to your neck?" Todd asked as he rushed to her side.

"My neck?"

"It's all bruised...It looks like somebody chocked you. Who hurt you?"

"Nobody...it's none of your dam business. Just leave me alone," Marty stated as she headed to the common area.

"Marty, I'm so sorry that I hurt you," Wes stated as soon as he spotted Marty.

"You bastard," Todd screamed as he lunged at Wes and knocked him to the ground. "If you ever lay your hands on Marty again, I'll fucking kill you, " Todd threatened.

The guards pulled Todd away from Wes and gave him a sedative.


	16. Chapter 16

Lost Without You 16

"I really am sorry Marty. I never meant to hurt you. I have PTSD and sometimes it causes me to act out my nightmares. I'll understand if you don't ever want to see me again," Wes stated as he got up to leave.

"Wait...Wes, I know that you weren't trying to hurt me. It must be terrible to be trapped in one of your nightmares."

"It is. Are you scared of me now?"

"No and I don't want to stop seeing you. You're my best friend in this place. I'm sorry about Todd."

"Don't be...I can handle Todd."

"Well, that makes one of us. I'm going to go take a nap...I'll see you later," Marty stated as she headed off to her room.

XOXOXO

Marty slept for a couple of hours and then headed to the common room to find Wes. She didn't see Wes, but she saw Todd sitting in one of the chairs writing a letter. He looked up and saw Marty staring at him.

"Marty, we need to talk about Wes. I know that you think that he's your friend, but he's not...he hurt you and it will be a cold day in hell before I ever let him hurt you again."

"You shouldn't have attacked Wes...he didn't do anything wrong."

"He chocked you, how could you defend him?"

"He never meant to hurt me unlike you. He was having a nightmare and he was confused about where he was at when I tried to wake him up. It's my fault that he chocked me...not his so you leave him alone," Marty said as she headed to Wes's room.

She knocked but there was no answer so she slowly opened the door. "Oh my god, somebody help me!" she screamed as she noticed the blood. She went to his side to see if she could feel a pulse, but there was nothing. She closed his eyes and sunk to the floor.

XOXOXO

Zach cut out another picture of Marty and kissed it before he hung it up on the wall. "Tonight...you will finally be mine again," he stated as he went downstairs to the basement to make sure that everything was set up for Marty's arrival.

Once he made sure that everything was set for Marty he left the house.

XOXOXO

The paramedics removed Wes from his room. "I'm going to make sure that whoever killed Wes pays," John stated to Marty as he held her hand and helped her out of the room.

"You bastard! You killed Wes didn't you?" Marty asked as she spotted Todd.

"Wes is dead?" Todd asked.

Marty lunged at him knocking him to the ground. "You know that he is...you killed him because you couldn't stand the fact that I was close to him. You killed Janet and now you killed Wes," Marty stated as she slapped Todd over and over again.

"Don't hurt her," Todd cried out as the guards yanked her off of him and stabbed a needle into her arm.

"What did you give her?" Todd asked as Marty sunk to the floor.

"It was just a sedative to help her sleep," the guards stated as they lifted her up and carried her out of the room.

"If you had anything to do with what happened here tonight...I'll lock you up and throw away the keys," John stated.

"I had nothing to do with Granger's murder."

"Then it's just a coincidence that he ended up dead after you threatened his life in a room full of people?" John asked.

"If you had evidence you would have already arrested me by now. I suggest that you get to work on finding the real guilty party," Todd retorted as he left the common room.

XOXOXO

"Are these the surveillance tapes?" John asked sister Agatha.

"They are, but there is no indication on these tapes that anything is out of the ordinary."

"They seem to be on a time loop," John stated as he watched Wes sleeping in his room on what should have been the live recorded version of events. "Whoever killed Wes knew exactly what they were doing and knew about the cameras. I want the names of all personnel who has access to these rooms," John stated.


	17. Chapter 17

Lost Without You 17

Todd went into Marty's room and shut the door behind him. He hated the fact that she was so upset over that worthless Wes's death and needed to be sedated."I promise that I'm not going to let anything hurt you ever again," Todd said as he covered her up with the blanket and kissed her forehead. He wanted to lay with her and hold her in his arms but he had to go meet with Doctor Ray Martinez. "I love you Marty," he whispered as he left.

XOXOXO

John was questioning the staff about the surveilance tapes when he got a phone call from Natalie.

"What is it Natalie? I'm busy," John blurted into the phone.

"So am I, but the medical examiner found some evidence that you need to see, so I suggest that you meet me at the hospital as soon as you can," Natalie replied.

"I've got to go, I'll be back as soon as I can to question the rest of the staff. Until I get back I'll be leaving some armed guards to help assist with security," John told sister Agatha before he left.

XOXOXO

Zach had no problem getting passed the guards since he was dressed in one of the nun's outfits that he borrowed. He made his way to Marty's room where she was completely unconscious.

He couldn't carry her out of there so he would have to wait for her to wake up and in the meantime he planned to reaquaint himself with his sleeping beauty. He climbed into bed with her and kissed her sensuous lips.

He placed his hands under the blankets and slipped them under her pants. He traced her vagina through the thin silk panties that she was wearing as he imagined what it would feel like to conquer her again.

Marty began to stir and Zach pulled out his gun. He covered her mouth and waved the gun in her face as she opened her eyes. "Hello Marty, It's time that I take you home."

XOXOXO

"What evidence do you want to show me?" John asked Kyle Lewis the Medical Examiner.

"We found the letter A Carved into his skin at the bottom of his tattoo. The evidence suggests-"

"That we have a serial killer out there carving into people. Thanks Kyle," John stated as he shook Kyle's hand and left.

"Where are you going?" Natalie asked as she followed John out of the Autopsy room.

"I'm going back to ST. Ann's."

"Why?"

"Because we have a serial killer on the loose and right now the only links between Lee Halpern and Wes Granger is Todd Manning and Marty Saybrooke so I'm going to question them. Don't call me unless it's an emergency," John stated as he left the hospital.

XOXOXO

"You wanted to see me," Todd stated as he entered Ray's office.

"I wanted to talk to you about Wes's death,"

"Why?"

"Somebody was murdered...you've got to have some feelings about that."

"You want to know how I feel? Fine I feel grateful and relieved that Wes is dead. He deserved it for how he hurt Marty. My only regret is that for whatever reason Marty cared about the ass and I don't want to see her hurt."

"Did you kill Wes?"

"Do you think that I killed Wes?"

"It's not important what I think. I only care about how you feel and whatever you tell me won't leave this room. Did you kill Wes because he hurt Marty?"

"No, I didn't kill him, but I think the person who did deserves a meddle. Are we done here? I want to talk to Marty and the sedative that they gave her should be wearing off by now."

"We're done for now, but Todd, I want you to know that you can call me anytime that you want to talk," Ray said as he handed his Business Card to Todd.

XOXOXO

Zach held a gun to Marty's back as she signed herself out of ST. Ann's.

"Get in my trunk," Zach ordered as soon as they reached the parking lot. Marty was so scared...she didn't want to die so she followed Zach's instructions while she thought of a way that she could free herself.

Zach got into the car and drove away.

XOXOXO

Todd went to Marty's room but it was completely empty. He was about to leave when he saw a letter addressed to him.

"Todd,  
You ruined my life and now it's my turn to ruin yours. Marty is going to be my sex slave to do with as I please. Don't bother looking for me, I don't want to share her with you anymore. She is mine and I know that the guilt of losing her to me will eat you alive.

Your Frat Brother,  
Zach Rosen"

"Marty!" Todd screamed as he headed out of the room.

"You have to let me go...I have to find her before it's too late!" Todd shouted as the guards stopped him from leaving ST Ann's.


	18. Chapter 18

Lost Without You 18

Zach arrived at the destination. He placed a blind fold over Marty's eyes and carried her downstairs. He held the gun against Marty so that she wouldn't scream.

He placed her down on a cold, hard table and placed chains around her arms and legs. Marty began to scream for help when he placed the chains around her. She would rather die then let hm rape her again.

"Go ahead and scream Marty...it just turns me on. This room is completely soundproof so nobody is going to hear you scream but me," Zach stated as he began to kiss her. Marty bit down on his toungue as hard as she could.

Zach slapped her across the cheek. "You've been very naughty Marty, It's time I punish you," Zach stated as he took a knife and cut and tore her clothes off of her. He branded her by burning his name into her skin right above her vagina as she screamed out in pain. The pain was too intense and she passed out.

XOXOXO

"Marty! You got to let me out of here she needs me," Todd cried as the guards kept him from leaving.

"What's going on here Todd? What kind of problems are you causing now?" John asked as he came into the room.

"Marty's in trouble...Zach has her,"Todd shouted as he handed John the note that Zach had left behind.

"We'll find her...right now I need you to answer a question that I have. When Lee was killed-"

"I don't believe this shit. I just told you that Marty was kidnapped and all you want to do is pin a murder on me. I didn't kill Janet...Lee...whatever her name is so I suggest that you stop wasting my time and go looking for Marty."

"Todd, this is important and may help us to find Marty. I think that there is a serial killer out there that is connected to you and/or Marty. Lee had the letter K carved into her and Wes has the letter A carved into him. Do you know what that means?"

"Oh my god...is it possible?"

"What Todd? What are you talking about?" John asked.

"KAD was the name of the fraternity that I was in. Zach was part of that fraternity. It's possible that he's your serial killer. I have to get out of here and find Marty before he kills her."

"You're staying Manning. Let the police handel it," John stated as he left.

XOXOXO

Todd picked up the phone and began to dial the only person that could help him.

"Tea, I need you to have me released from ST Ann's."

"I don't know Todd. You still have a lot of issues that you need help on."

"Tea, it's Marty...she's in trouble...please help me get released from here. I can't just sit here while he's out there hurting her."

"Who has Marty?"

"Zach kidnapped her."

"Well, aren't the police looking for them?"

"The police are useless. I know how Zach thinks and I know that I can find Marty."

"Alright Todd, I'll see what I can do," Tea stated as she hung up the phone.

Thirty minutes later Todd walked out of ST. Ann's hell bent on finding Marty.

XOXOXO

Zach turned the shower heads on and drenched Marty with cold water. He wasn't done playing with her yet and he needed to wake her up.

"Stop it...I'm cold," Marty stated as the water hit her.

Zach removed his clothes...it was time to take a shower with Marty. He loved the way her nipples hardened under the icy water.

"Don't worry Marty...I'll warm you up," Zach stated as he turned the water to warm and climbed on the table. He laid his body over Marty's and got ready to insert his erection into her tight, wet, silken walls.

XOXOXO

He slowly opened the door and saw Zach hurting Marty. Marty was his to protect and Zach needed to be punished like all the others for hurting her.

He pulled Zach off of Marty and stabbed him with his knife over and over again as he screamed in pain.

"Who's there? What's going on? Who are you?" Please...please help me," Marty pleaded.

He couldn't stand to hear the anguish in her voice and the sight of her drenched naked body was unbearable. Zach had hurt her...just like at the KAD house all those years ago.

He covered Marty with a blanket and kissed her head. He took a picture of her with his phone and then he left.

"Wait, come back...please don't just leave me here," Marty cried, but he was gone. there was nobody to help her.

XOXOXO

John was staring at the evidence of Lee and Wes when he received a text message.

It was a picture of Marty with the address of her location underneath.

He stood up...he had to follow this location and hope that it led him to Marty.


	19. Chapter 19

Lost Without You 19

Todd drove up Llantana mountain. Zach's family had owned a cabin that was secluded and isolated in the upper Llantana Mountains. Zach used to talk about how much he loved it up there. He only hoped that his suspicions were right and that he would find Marty up there.

The front door had been left unlocked. He opened it and he could hear Marty screaming for help. He ran to the basement and he found Zach's lifeless body sprawled out on the floor.

Somebody had already been here and mutilated Zach. Todd stepped over Zach and went to Marty's side.

"It's okay Marty, I'm going to get you out of here." Todd stated as he located the key and unlocked the chains around her wrists and ankles.

"Todd, please help me." Marty chocked out.

Todd removed her blindfolds and helped her sit up. He couldn't help but notice that she was wet and naked underneath the thin blanket that covered her. He felt disgusted at the thought that Zach might have raped her again.

He picked her up into his arms as she cried and he carried her out of the room that had imprisoned her.

He placed her in his car and drove down the mountain. He had to get her to a hospital.

XOXOXO

John arrived at the cabin and found Zach's underground torture chamber. Zach was dead, but there was no sign of Marty. He called Natalie as he taped off the crime scene.

XOXOXO

Todd carried Marty into the Emergency Room of Llanview Hospital.

"What happened to Marty?" Doctor Kyle Lewis asked as he spotted Todd.

"I don't know...I found her like this...she needs your help," Todd stated.

Kyle led them into an examination room and helped Todd lay her down on the table. "Todd, I'll need you to step out so I can examine her," Kyle stated.

"No Todd, don't leave me," Marty pleaded.

"Can I stay?" Todd asked as he brushed away Marty's tears.

"If that's what Marty wants."

Todd winced as he saw Zach's name burned into Marty's skin. He turned his head away as he held Marty's hand.

XOXOXO

John was standing in the Medical Examiner's office when he got a call from Fish.

"What's going on Fish?"

"Todd brought Marty into the hospital."

"Is she okay?"

"I'm not sure. It looks like she may have been raped. Kyle's performing the rape kit on her as we speak."

"Oh god...keep me updated Fish, I'll be there as soon as I can," John said as he hung up the phone. "Sorry about that, what do you have for me?" John asked as he turned his attention to the medical examiner.

"We found the letter D carved into his skin on his stomach."

"So it appears that our serial killer has struck again."

"Yeah, and there's one more thing. Zach's penis was cut off. I would say that whoever killed him knew Zach and had a major grudge against him."

"Thanks," John pulled out his phone and called Natalie as he walked out of the room. "Hey Natalie...did you find a penis at the crime scene?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"I just got finished and there aren't any penises lying around. Why?"

"It looks like our killer took a trophy from killing Zach," John stated as he hung up the phone. He needed to get to the hospital to question Todd and see how Marty was doing.

XOXOXO

Todd held Marty's hand as they listened to the sound of their baby's strong heart beat and looked at the images on the ultrasound monitor. "Your baby is completely fine and healthy."

"Thank god," Marty stated as she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Kyle, here's the results of the rape exam," the nurse said as she handed him the results.

"Was Marty raped?" Todd asked.


	20. Chapter 20

Lost Without You 20

"Was Marty raped?" Todd asked.

"I don't believe so. There is no evidence of penetration."

"Thank god," Todd stated as he breathed a sigh of relief.

"When can I go home?" Marty asked.

"The nurse will be by with instructions on how to take care of your burns," Kyle stated as he left the room.

"Thanks for finding me," Marty stated as she squeezed Todd's hand.

"I will always find you. I'm sorry that Zach targeted you. I set this whole thing into motion Marty and I'm sorry that you're still paying for what I did to you," Todd stated as he began to cry.

"Zach's responsible for his own choices," Marty stated as she let go of Todd's hand.

The nurse brought by some hospital scrubs for Marty to wear as well as the instructions to care for her burns. "I'll be out in the hallway if you need me," Todd stated as he left with the nurse.

XOXOXO

He took a look around the room to make sure that everything was in place for Marty and Todd's arrival. He had spent months making sure that every detail in this room was perfect.

He pinned Zach's penis up on the wall and threw darts at it to relieve some of his pent up anger. He had left Marty in that dungeon because he was certain that John would find her, but he had to watch Todd play the hero instead.

After his anger had dissipated he sat down and finished the invitations.

XOXOXO

"Will you take me home?"Marty asked as she stepped out of the examination room.

"Of course," Todd stated.

"You're not going anywhere Manning. I have some questions for you," John stated as he walked up to Todd and Marty. "How are you feeling Marty?" John asked.

"I'm fine."

"I'm sorry to have to do this, but I'm going to need a statement from you as well Marty."

"Can't you see that she's been through enough John?

"It's okay Todd, John's just trying to do his job. What do you want to know?" Marty asked.

"Everything."

"Did you kill Zach Manning?" John asked Todd after Marty had filled him in on everything that she remembered about her abduction.

"It wasn't him," Marty stated.

"How can you be so certain. You were blindfolded and didn't see anything."

"That's true, but after living with Todd for six months, I know how he smells and I didn't smell Todd coming into the room until after Zach's killer left. He didn't do it...he wouldn't just leave me there. "

"The serial killer has a connection to the KAD fraternity. Zach is dead and Powell is institutionalized, so that leaves you Manning. Are you trying to make amends by killing anybody who hurts Marty?"

"It sounds like you have nothing but questions McBain. Are you going to arrest me or am I free to go?"

"You're free to go for now, but don't leave town because it's only a matter of time before I have enough evidence to arrest you," John stated as he stormed away.

XOXOXO

When Marty opened her door she found two envelopes addresses to her and Todd. She handed Todd his envelope and began to open the envelope that was addressed to her. She dropped the letter as she saw the KAD logo and the words Spring Fling written across the invitation.


	21. Chapter 21

Lost Without You 21

Marty dropped the envelope when she saw the words 'Spring Fling' across the envelope.

"I'm sorry Marty...I don't know what kind of sicko would send these to us," Todd stated as he laid his envelope down and went to Marty's side.

Marty sank to her knees as a feeling of fatigue and nauseousness overcame her. "I don't feel so good," Marty stated as she collapsed on the floor.

"Just hang on Marty. I'm going to call-" Todd began to reply but then collapsed as well.

XOXOXO

He walked into the room and saw Todd and Marty lying on the floor. He carried Todd out to his car and threw him in the trunk.

He went back inside for Marty. She looked so peaceful and he was afraid to touch her. The last thing that he wanted to do was hurt her. He cautiously picked her up in his arms and carried her out to his car. He gently placed her in the passenger seat and buckled her in.

XOXOXO

John arrived at Sunnyside Institution and demanded to see Powell Lord the Third.

"He's right this way," a dark haired woman stated. She led John to a room. "He's right inside," the woman stated as she smiled.

John opened the door and found an empty padded room. "Hey, there's nobody-" John felt a prick in the back of his neck. He turned around and saw the woman holding a syringe. "What did you give me?" John asked as he fell to his knees.

"I can't have you ruining all the progress that Powell is making. He has a very important party that he has to attend so I just gave you something that will help you sleep," the woman stated.

John tried to keep his eyes open, but they were too heavy. The drug was too powerful.

"Please help me get this patient into a stray jacket," the woman stated to two orderlies that came into the room.

"Yes Doctor Saybrooke," the men stated as they strapped John into the Stray Jacket.

XOXOXO

Powell carried Todd into the old KAD room and strapped and chained Todd to a chair. Once Todd was in position he carried Marty into the room and gently placed her on the bed. "I'm sorry Marty, but this has to be done for your own protection," Powell stated as he placed the chains around Marty's wrists and ankles.

"Marty, what did you do to her?" Todd asked as he opened up his eyes and saw Marty chained to the bed.

"Everything that I do is for Marty's own good. I would never hurt her again, unlike you. Take a look around Todd. It almost feels like old times...you, me and Marty. The only one missing is Zach, but I made sure that we had a part of him here with us," Powell stated as he squeezed Zach's penis in his hand like a stress ball.

"What do you want Powell?" Todd asked.

"I want the same thing you want...redemption."


	22. Chapter 22

Lost Without You 22

"Do you honestly think that you can earn redemption by kidnapping Marty? Todd asked.

"Isn't that what you thought when you took Marty back to your house and kept her chained there by all your lies," Powell stated as he smirked.

"You don't know what you're talking about Powell."

"What's going on? Where am I? Todd?" Marty asked as she opened her eyes and realized that she was chained on a bed.

"Hello Marty...I'm so glad that you're awake. Todd and I was just discussing you."

"Please don't hurt me," Marty pleaded as she tried to break free of the chains that bound her.

"I would never hurt you Marty...never again," Powell stated as he stroked her cheek.

"Don't touch her...you psycho," Todd shouted.

Zach backhanded Todd and then turned his attention back to Marty. "I am sorry that I brought you here, but it's necessary for me to help you."

"Please let me go...I don't want to be here," Marty stated as the glare on the fish tank brought back unfortunate memories. "I've been here before...this is the room where you raped me."

"Todd made me hurt you in this room and I brought you here to set you free."

"Then let me go,"

"I promise that I'm going to let you go once I kill the evil that has penetrated your life. "

XOXOXO

"Powell, where are you?" she asked as she entered the KAD house.

"I'm upstairs entertaining our guests," she heard him reply back. She carried her medical bag up the stairs and opened the door.

"Rebecca?" Todd asked.

"Hello Todd...it's been a long time."

"You're helping Powell? Why would you help him?" Todd asked. She was the first person who had helped him see that he was worth saving. She used to have a light and hope in her eyes that inspired him and now they seemed so cold and empty.

"Powell and I are doing God's work."

"Please Rebecca...I know that you're a good person...please help us."

"You're the devil...once Powell atones for his sins we're going to heaven together...I won't let you lead me astray from the Lord's plan," Rebecca said as she covered her ears and walked away from Todd.

"That's right Rebecca. I need your help to make things right. Did you bring the equipment that I asked you for?

"I did," Rebecca stated as she pulled a scalpel out of her medical bag and handed it to Powell.

"I don't want to hurt her Rebecca, but she needs to be awake for the procedure."

"Don't worry Powell, Marty's not going to feel a thing," Rebecca stated as she pulled out her syringe. Once the syringe was filled she injected it into Marty's stomach.

Marty felt the skin around her stomach grow numb and she was terrified that her unborn child was in danger.


	23. Chapter 23

Lost Without You 23

"Damnit Powell, don't hurt my child...don't make it suffer for my sins," Todd pleaded.

"I have no other choice Todd. I need to make sure that your evil ends with you," Powell stated as he held the scalpel in his hands. "Raping woman is in the Lord genes. Your father was a rapist, you're a rapist...I won't let Marty's child become one too."

"Rebecca, please don't let him do this to Marty. How can you justify killing an innocent child?"

"I let you tempt me once when I thought that I saw something good inside of you, but I was wrong. You are pure evil...and your disgusting spawn was created in rape."

"That child wasn't created in rape. I love Marty and I would never hurt her like that again."

"Powell, we better sterilize the equipment in the kitchen before we begin the operation. We don't want Marty to get an infection," Rebecca stated completely ignoring Todd's pleas for help.

"I'm sorry Marty, I don't want to leave you alone with him, but we'll be back soon," Powell stated as he left the room with Rebecca.

"Marty, we have to get you out of here," Todd stated as he looked at Marty and tried to break free of his restraints. "Marty, are you okay?" Todd asked as he noticed the distant, glazed look in her eyes.

The images of their past were too much and Marty could no longer ignore the unwanted memories that was bombarding her brain. _"You're the reason that I failed my calculus exam. I'm going to lose my scholarship because of you. You ruined my life and I'm going to make sure you pay," Todd seethed as he held Marty's hands down. He climbed on top of her and shoved his hatred into her over and over again._

"Who's next, come on Zach...take a turn on the whore. She's been begging for it for months," Todd stated as he sat down in the chair.

Marty continued to scream for help, while Todd and Zach laughed at her. "Hey Todd, check it out," Zach stated as he shoved his wristband into her mouth. He shoved his erection into her over and over again while she tried her best to leave her reality behind and focus on happier memories from her childhood.

"Come on Powell...your turn," Zach and Powell stated.

"I can't...I don't want to hurt her."

"Come on Powell, be a man and do it," Todd taunted.

Powell walked towards Marty and slowly climbed on top of her as Todd and Powell encouraged him from the sidelines. When he was done Powell opened up the window and threw up. 

"I remember...I remember you raping me. I remember everything," Marty stated as her full memory returned to her. She remembered the pain of the Spring Fling and her struggle over the years to understand and forgive the man that had hurt her more than anybody else...the man, that despite everything...she still loved.

"You remember?" Todd asked. He knew from the pain in her eyes that she remembered the horrible things that he had done to her. He was terrified that with the return of her memory she would be lost to him and so would his chances at redemption.

"Okay Marty, the scalpel has been steralized."

"Please Powell...please don't hurt my child," Marty pleaded.

"It's okay Marty...you don't have to be scared. I'm going to cut out the evil that is growing inside of you. Once I am done then I'm going to castrate Todd and myself. Once Todd is dead I'm going to move to Hawiee with you and Rebecca. Once I wipe all of our memories clean with this drug then we'll all be free to begin our new lives free of Todd's evil," Powell explained.

"You're insane Powell. It's never going to work," Todd stated.

"I really am sorry for all the pain that I caused you," Powell stated as he wiped the tears off her face. He pushed the scalpel into her skin as a shot rang out.


	24. Chapter 24

Lost Without You 24

Powell stuck the scalpel into Marty as a shot rang through the air. Todd turned his head and saw Tea standing in the doorway holding a gun.

"You murderer...you killed Powell...he was just trying to earn redemption," Rebecca stated as she rushed at Tea. Tea aimed the gun at Rebecca and pulled the trigger.

"Hello Todd, are there any other psychos from your past that I should worry about?" Tea asked as she went to him and untied the ropes that bound him to the chair.

"How? How did you know?" Todd asked.

"When John never came home, Blair went to the institution and found him locked up in Powell's padded room. Blair called me because I was closer and she thought that I could help you and Marty out. Are you okay?" Tea asked.

"Marty, we have to untie Marty," Todd stated as he stood up.

They rushed to Marty's side. She was unconscious and Todd could see the blood gathering around the scalpel in her stomach. He pulled it out and began to apply as much pressure to the wound as he could while Tea called for an ambulance. "Please don't let anything happen to her or our child, they're my life," Todd prayed as he held her in his arms.

XOXOXO

John woke up and Blair was sitting by his side holding his hand. He looked around and realized that they were in the hospital. "Todd, Marty...I got to find them...Powell took them somewhere," John stated as he tried to get out of bed.

"I need you to relax...Todd and Marty are just fine...Powell and Rebecca are dead."

"How?"

"You're not the only one smart enough to piece together the clues. When you didn't come home I went looking for you. Since I found you in Powell's room, I figured that he was on the loose. I know how obsessed Powell was with Todd and Marty so I figured that he would have taken them to the KAD house. I called Tea and she rescued them" Blair explained.

"God...you're a better detective then I am," John stated as he pretended to pout.

"Shhh, I won't say anything if you don't," Blair stated as she kissed him.

XOXOXO

Todd walked into Marty's hospital room and saw her lying in the bed. She was looking out the window with a deep, thoughtful look in her eyes.

"Is the baby..."

"The baby and I are just fine...Todd we need to talk."

"Marty, I know that you remember our past together. I understand if you hate me and never want to see me again...I'll even give you full custody of our child if that will make things easier on you," Todd stammered as he sat by her side.

"That's not what I want."

"It's not?"

"For the record Todd, I have never hated you. I hate what you did to me and there's a difference. I still love you and I need you to be part of our life," Marty stated as she placed his hand over her stomach. "I know that you've changed...and I know that you're sorry for hurting me. I remember how much I loved you before I had amnesia...and after my accident you took such great great care of me and I was free to love you back. I know now that our child was created out of our love. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to waste any more time or energy being angry with you for something that can never be changed. I'm ready to forgive you."

"I love you so much Marty...I always have and I promise you that nobody will ever hurt you again," Todd stated as he kissed Marty.

The End


End file.
